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If I'm contemplating a divorce, what should I be doing?
One of the most important things to do is to review your marital assets and debts in an effort to estimate what your financial position might be at the conclusion of a divorce proceeding. In the great majority of cases, both parties will be worse off financially after the divorce then during the marriage. Remember the same income will now have to support two households.
What if I own a house?
If you own a house, the likelihood is the marital residence will have to be sold and the net proceeds (after payment of outstanding debt) will be divided in some proportion between you and your spouse. How much of the net proceeds each of you may get will depend on what other assets are being divided, whether maintenance (alimony) will be paid to one of you, and what are your respective abilities to earn income in the future.
What if I owned property before the marriage?
Assets owned by one of the parties prior to the marriage, and gifts and inheritances acquired during the marriage, if kept separate from assets acquired during the marriage, may not be subject to division between the parties; however, the value of such assets may be taken into account in determining the division of other property and/or support obligations.
What about income tax and outstanding credit card bills?
Get copies of your joint tax returns filed in the last 3 years, as well as copies of monthly credit card statements and other bills. You might want to review the bills monthly to determine if your spouse has made any unusual or large purchases recently. If you are not the one paying the bills, take note of the average monthly payments being made by your spouse and compare those amounts to your spouse's estimated net income. You may be able to determine that some of your spouse's income is unaccounted for, and may have been spent or hidden without your knowledge.
Will I need money during the divorce proceedings?
In the event your spouse controls the marital income, you should determine your ability to have access to marital bank accounts. Maybe you should create a separate account that your spouse can't invade as a safeguard against finding yourself without money.
How can I intelligently choose a lawyer?
The most important thing is to be comfortable with your attorney. Can the two of you communicate easily, and in language you can relate to and understand? When meeting the attorney for the first time, check out the office staff; ---does there appear to be enough support personnel adequately assisting the attorney?
The attorney should explain how fees are charged, at what hourly rate, and for what type of services; such as court time, office time, telephone time, paralegal time, etc. You should attempt to determine the reasonableness of the fees in relation to the complexity of your divorce, but more importantly, can you afford this attorney.
If possible you should determine the number of years of experience the attorney has in the matrimonial field; the attorney's reputation in the matrimonial law community; and does the attorney carry malpractice insurance.
Custody, visitation, and child support
If custody is an issue, the underlying principal in a contested custody matter is "the best interest of the minor child". Many factors can influence a judge's decision. The age of a minor child can be an important issue when the court is determining which parent should receive custody. The older the child, the more the child's wishes may influence the judge. The living conditions and the stability of the home of a parent will play a large factor in the judge's decision. Additional factors a judge may consider are, will the parent be remaining in the same school district, will the child be conveniently located to extended family, or can a parent demonstrate the ability to have back-up assistance in the event of an emergency.
The phrase "joint custody" is often used by people without fully understanding under what circumstances a judge can enter a Joint Parenting Order. If the parties are unable to agree on issues such as visitation, religious education, geographical proximity, or just can’t communicate with each other in a civil manner, the judge cannot enter a Joint Parenting Order.
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